


DICK AND BUBBLES' SUPER HAPPY FUN ADVENTURE

by lolitrash13



Category: Metalocalypse, Powerpuff Girls
Genre: Adoption, Best Friends, Crossover, Kidnapping, Weird Plot, nb headcanon, non binary Bubbles, non binary Dick Knubbler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:18:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolitrash13/pseuds/lolitrash13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU from a conversation among me and a friend]<br/>Dick Knubbler is not exactly what people would call smart or a very upstanding citizen, seeing as though he disfigured a guy with acid during a meeting for no explicit reason.<br/>And Bubbles Utonium is always up for an adventure. ESPECIALLY after realizing how annoying and lazy her father is, and how mean and bossy her older sisters are. And when Dick decides to pile onto his mountain of crimes by KIDNAPPING her in broad daylight, some pretty crazy stuff happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What do you mean I can't just HAVE the child?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for the existence of this but when you stay up all night talking to your friends about AUs, whaddya gonna do?

"What do you mean I can't just  _have_ the child _?_ She likes _me_ more anyway _._ "

Wow, Dick was annoying and unreasonable today. Though, he wasn't lying. Bubbles remembered that Professor Utonium had said don't mess around with strangers but they had gotten into a rather intriguingly fun game of hide and go seek. And Bubbles and Dick had agreed that Bubbles should come and travel with him and the band he managed, Dethlok. "Sir, I'm sorry but bubbles is my daughter!" Professor Utonium shouted, "You can't just take her!" "Did you and a partner have her together?" Dick asked. "No." Professor replied.

 

"Did you sign any adoption papers to get her?"

 

"No."

 

"Did you get any legal custody when she was created?"

 

"Not through paper work, no."

 

"Then she isn't yours! And I can get custody of her through paper work at the mayor's office!"

 

Dick picked up Bubbles and held her under his arm like a football while Professor contemplated the complexity and logic of the situation. Before he could even think, Blossom shouted, "Professor, he's getting away!" And before you knew it, Dick had sprinted all the way to city hall. Only the faint sound of him and bubbles cackling could be heard as it faded off into the distance. Blossom and Buttercup flew after them, leaving behind their signature green and pink trail. "Quick, get to his office!' Bubbles shouted, pointing to the door on the far left of the hallway, "Sign those papers and get us outta here!" Dick burst into the mayor's office loudly, casing him to jump slightly in his chair. "WE NEED ADOPTION PAPERS, QUICK." Dick shouted, slamming his free hand down onto the table. The mayor was a bit frightened by the hasty attitude Dick had, so Ms. Bellum ended up having to hand over the papers. Just as Dick and Bubbles were about to sign off on the papers, Blossom and Buttercup burst in, looking rather infuriated. "Give us our sister!" Buttercup shouted. "Yeah, she isn't your daughter!" Blossom added. "You're right." Bubbles said sliding the paper back to the mayor, before turning and smiling mischievously, "I'm his son." Bubbles and Dick high fived one another, laughing obnoxiously at what they had just done.

 

And of course, the Professor ran into the office a bit too late. "Stop right there!" He yelled. "It's too late, Professor. Blossom said, looking at the floor, "Ms. Bellum stamped the papers." The three of them looked at the ground as their hearts fell into their stomachs. "So uh." Dick said, lifting Bubbles once again, "What time is best to have her come and pack her things?"

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure you wanna go through with this?" Blossom asked, "I mean this guy seems shady." "Blossom, if I didn't hate being  _here_ I wouldn't've decided to leave." Blossom chimed, shoving her stuffed animals into a bag, along with her dressed and shoes, "Anyway, you guys have everything under control here in Townsville. every city needs a hero, right?" "I guess that's true..." Blossom said softly. "Remember to write to us!" Buttercup said, hugging Bubbles. "I'll remember." Bubbles said before turning away and grabbing Mr. Octo while whispering to herself, "No I won't." Bubbles grabbed her small blue jacket from the back of the vanity chair and tied it around her waist in case it got cold. "Before you go!" Blossom yelled, grabbing Bubbles, who was walking away, "His...son?" Bubbles sighed deeply and rolled her eyes. "Bigender, Blossom. I'm bigender. I identify as a boy and a girl at the same exact time, now let me get downstairs, please." Blossom let go of Bubbles' arm looking at her semi confused. Bubbles rolled her eyes once again and walked downstairs, paying her sisters no mind.

 

"I'm ready to go!" Bubbles said happily, standing next to Dick. "Great! The bus is waiting!" Dick said excitedly, taking Bubbles' hand. "B-Be safe!" The Professor shouted, "And remember, she's lactose intolerant! And she needs to be in bed by 10:00! And she loves blueberries!" Dick rolled his robot eyes and helped Bubbles into the tour bus, waving goodbye to her family before getting in himself and driving off. And well...the members of Dethlok weren't all that excited about the small child that was on the bus with them. "Uh..." Nathan grunted, breaking the silence, "What's that?" "What?" Dick asked, "Oh this? This is my son. Her name is Bubbles."

 

"That's your son."

 

"Mhm."

 

"Your son is a she?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"And her name is Bubbles?"

 

"This is correct."

 

Nathan and the other band members looked at each other before shrugging it off."I was gonna say, she looks kinda young to be a groupie." Pickles said with a sigh of relief, "It's great to know Dick is above that at least, eh?" Everyone nodded in agreement with what the red haired metalhead had stated. "Yeah well, she's my son and she's gonna be staying with us." Dick said bluntly, "So be nice, okay?" Everyone sat in silence for a good few moments. Not even trying to speak, allowing Murderface to break the silence. "Tho, we have to let that thing squat around our place?" Murderface asked, pointing at the short blonde that was practically latched onto Dick's arm, "Doe'th thi'th mean no more whore'th around the studio? Al'tho, how are we gonna get her into a th'cohool?" "You guys can keep your whores, Will. And I'm gonna be sending Bubbles to a private school anyway." Dick replied, patting the small child on the head, "She is a precious flower and she needs to be protected at all costs."

 

The drive home felt like forever. 

 

You could cut through the awkward tension with a knife.


	2. She's Not Hardcore!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the second day having Bubbles around.

"Having a kid around here feel'th th'o weird."

 

The band stood in confusion as they watched Bubbles sit so innocently perched on Dick's lap as he put small bows into her fluffy pig tails. Seeing him with such a motherly attitude was a bit strange, considering that he was a bit, well... _creepy_ in most cases. Bubbles simply sat there smiling, clutching her favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Octo, to her chest. "I promise, I won't be any trouble to you guys." Bubbles chimed, "I won't do anything to be in the way." Wow, that was polite. But not in any way  _metal._ "Well that's kind of un-brutal." Nathan grunted, "I mean, She's cute but. She isn't exactly. Brutal. Or hardcore. Or in any way metal." "Buts she's the cutests!" Toki said, pointing to Bubble. "Yeah but you could never be a too burtal brutal, eh?" Pickles added. The band soon began bickering and talking over each other, and Dick failed to shut them up. 

 

"Can we  _please_ just get to recording!?"

 

"Nots untils he stops with de vhining!" 

 

"I'm not th'e whiney one! That'th Toki!"

 

"I AMS NOT WHINEY!" 

 

Bubbles furrowed her brow at the arguing band members and shouted, "ENOUGH!" causing all of them to quiet down immediately. "You guys have more important things to worry about than me being brutal or not! And who says I can't be? I could be brutal if I tried! _You're_ the ones who need brutal lessons! Now get to recording so you guys can do whatever else you were gonna do!" Dick was semi surprised but also a bit glad about Bubbles' outburst seeing as though it got the band to shut up. That took skill. "Well now that we're all settled down, let's get to work, shall we?" Dick cooed. Dethklok nodded and proceeded to record in the studio. Dick even let Bubbles play around with the pitch and volume buttons for a little while. 

 

Finally, the session was over. Now it was time to help Bubbles finish unpacking her things. "How many stuffed animals do ya need?" Pickles asked, opening a bag of even MORE stuffed animals, "You've got yourself a full blown zoo over here!" "There's no such thing as too much of a good thing!" Bubbles chimed, smoothing her bed sheets, "They're all so cute, too!" Pickles shrugged and continued to open up bags and remove their contents. Skwisgaar and Toki spent their time trying to figure out how to fold dresses. It was quite the challenge for them. Dick helped Bubbles get sheets placed neatly on her bed, making sure that they would remain straight and smoothed. "So uh, what do I do with this?" Nathan gestured toward a pile of neatly folded, baby blue clothes, "Do I like, put them somewhere specific? I've never. I've never done anything with children's bedrooms." "Just put the in the chest of drawers." Bubbles replied, setting stuffed animals onto her bed, "And the shoes can go in the bottom drawer." Nathan nodded and proceeded to do what the small blonde had told him to do. "Thanks so much for helping me set up my room." Bubbles said sweetly. "It's the least we could do." Said Dick, who was smiling widely, "My little prince deserves the best." Dick kissed Bubbles on the cheek before turning back to the band and speaking rather bluntly.

 

"Alright boys, I'm trusting that you'll keep groupies and whores out of Bubbles' room." -the band nodded as indication that they understood- "When I'm not around, god willing I won't have to leave her with you,You'll make sure she's happy." -the band nodded once more- "And don't foret she needs to be in bed by 10:15!" -The band nodded once more. Dick grinned at their understanding before clearing his throat and speaking once more. "Okay, we need to get her registered in a good school. She deserves only the best education and it's my job as her mother to--" "Mother?" Pickles asked, cutting off Dick and earning a sigh from him. "Yes." Dick replied, his eyes flashing red for a brief second, "That's what I said, I'm her mom. And she is my son. Now... like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. It's my job as her mother to get her an education. So tomorrow morning we're gonna look up schools and get her a letter of recommendation from her old school." he band nodded before going off to their squatting areas, and Dick took the liberty of tucking in Bubbles for the night and kissing her on the forehead.

 

"Goodnight angel." He said softly, pecking her softly on the forehead.

 

"Goodnight, Mommy Knubbler." Bubbles said between a yawn.

 

* * *

 

The next morning,  Dick and Bubbles had driven all the way back to Townsville to Pokey Oaks kindergarten. Ms. Keane was very excited to see that Bubbles was back. Not too excited to see her accompanied by a a creepy, old guy. "Hi Ms. Keane!" Bubbles said happily, "Me and Mommy Knubbler need to talk to you!" "Oh uh," -Ms. Keane looked at Dick then back at Bubbles- "Of course! What do you need, uh...sir...?" "I recently adopted Bubbles and now I need a letter of recommendation for her new school." Dick stated bluntly, "You see, I'm going to be sending her to a private school and she need someone who's taught her before to give the school a valid reason to let her attend." Ms. Keane sat for a moment before finally speaking. "Of course! I'll have that done later today, come back around 3:30 and I'll have it ready for you!" "Great." Said Dick, "We'll be back around that time to pick it up. Thank you." "No problem, sir." Dick and Bubble's left the office and got back in the car. "That went pretty well I think!" Bubbles said happily. "Yeah." Said Dick, "She seems like a nice lady." 

 

Bubbles nodded in agreement as she buckled herself into her car seat. "She was a really good teacher, she always knew all the answers!" Dick snickered at Bubbles' naive response. Ms. Keane had to know the answers, she was the teacher! But he was happy seeing her so excited. He knew her childish sense of wonder would fade away someday. And he wanted to cherish whatever was left of her childhood. The duo spent their time waiting to pick up the letter by playing together at the park and listening to stories from one another about crazy things that would happen. How fun. 

 

"Well, that letter should be done by now. And we need it to get you into the school I had in mind. Let's go." Dick took Bubbles' hand and walked into the kindergarten once more with her. "Hi we're uh. Here to pick up that letter of recommendation." Dick said Bluntly to Ms. Keane, who looked semi frightened again. "Oh yes!" Ms. Keane said, handing over the paper, Here you are! It has everything they need to know for the sake of a little child like Bubbles!" Dick nodded and took the paper before reading over it carefully with his robot eyes. The note simply said: 

 

**_Bubbles Utonium has been a student of mine for a good amount of time now. She was always a bright shining star for our classroom and always had a smile on her face._ **

**_She gets along very well with other children, and is an impeccable reader, who seems to always thirst for new ideas. She has the average grade of a B- and though she is doing fairly well, there is always room for improvement._ **

**_I believe that with hard work and dedication, you could easily mold her into a remarkable young woman!_ **

 

**_Love, Ms. Keane. Owner and director of Pokey Oaks Kindergarten._ **

 

Hm. Short and Sweet. But good enough for a little kid I suppose. Seeing as though she was a 5 year old, she didn't need a lot of context for her to get into a school. Dick nodded to Ms. Keane and left, still holding Bubbles' hand, and left the school. Driving all the way to Townsville was long, and getting back was even longer. But Bubbles didn't mind at all. Neither did Dick.

 

It didn't matter as long as they were together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMALL NOTE: I like to believe that all of cartoon network and adult swim coexist in the same universe so, that adds some sense to this awful mess.


End file.
